Jim’s Best Football Rumours – July 2022 – Part 2
By Jim James
Hello all, welcome back. That first part of the Best Football Rumours yesterday was fun, and I’ve decided to make a 2nd part of it. I hope you enjoy it.
Liverpool sell Darwin Nunez back to Benfica after United display
Klopp has had enough. After a 4-0 loss to Manchester United in preseason that saw a particularly awful performance by Darwin Nunez, the German has sold the star striker back to Benfica for £50 million.
When asked about this confusing piece of business, Klopp said “I’m sick and tired of my attacking signings not reaching any level of standard. Mane, Salah, Jota, Diaz, I’m fed up.”
PSG collapse 8-0 lead in friendly, claim they thought it was a Champions League second leg
On Thursday, PSG looked set for a drubbing vs Real Madrid Castilla, with the score being 8-0 after 30 minutes, with 4 by Mbappe, 2 by Messi, and 1 for both Ramos and Neymar. However, banners were being waved with Champions League logos on them around that time, and after goals by Pipi and Marvin made it 8-2 at halftime, a Blanco brace, 3 more by Marvin and goals from Zidane and Arribas, the score finished 9-8 in a 17-goal instant classic.
PSG are appealing for foul play by the Madrid supporters as with the banner being waved, they claim they thought it was a Champions League game, even though it was 11 am in the Morning. More on this situation as it develops.
Manchester United to sign Kazuyashi Miura after being rejected by 7,295 other players
After being rejected by every other striker in the top 6 divisions of any country under the age of 60, “King Kazu” Miura is on his way to Old Trafford.
Last night we got a “here we go” from Fabrizio Romano on the deal, and it appears to be happening for £15 million, a bid quickly accepted by the Suzuka Point Getters.
Man Utd fans are happy about the deal but have to be questioning the longevity of the 55-year old.
Chelsea transfer plan revealed: “Just whoever Barca’s after innit”
Those were the words of Chelsea chief Thomas Tuchel after being asked about Chelsea’s transfer strategy for this Summer 2022 Window. He would provide no further comment on the strategy however.
Bayern set Lewandowski asking price to £583 million, Barca confident of getting him for £50 million
Local media surprised today as Bayern have increased their transfer valuation of Robert Lewandowski to £583 million. They have said that is the fee they want for the Pole.
Joan Laporta still thinks that he can get the Skipper for less than £50 million and isn’t ruling out the signings of Alvaro Morata, Timo Werner, Odion Ighalo, or Eric Chuopo-Moting if they fail to bring him to the Camp Nou.
Kepa concedes 142 in training session
There was celebration at Chelsea training this morning as Kepa Arrizabalaga conceded just 142 in a 5v5 match.
This is a record low for him as some of the highs include 385, 446, and 398 in the 10-minute game. However, his team still lost the match handily vs Edouard Mendy’s team, 142-9.
Arsenal “All or Nothing” Documentary attracts 3 viewers, “Still better than Spurs’”, claims Arteta
Despite records being set in every way Mikel Arteta didn’t want for the new Arsenal: All or Nothing documentary, he says he is still happy with its performance on Amazon Prime.
In an interview with the Athletic, Arteta said “It’s still better than Spurs’ All or Nothing Documentary”, and “On its day, it could have got up to about 18 viewers”.
That’s all folks, I hope you enjoyed these, as it was in the previous part, these are all fake stories for a chuckle. I’m Jim James, until next time.