Hello Everyone, welcome back to the blog. Guess what time it is? Another Premier League season has come to an end, and today we’re taking a look back at our second annual Premier League predictions. It feels like I just finished these predictions the morning before watching Erling Haaland score twice past newly-promoted Burnley, but here we are, with the season at an end. Last year, I ended up with 64 points, which wasn’t great, and definitely a number I think that I can beat. All I have to do is get the teams within 2-3 places of where they actually finished. How hard can it be?
20th: Bournemouth (12th, +8)
“Points: 33
Best Player: Marcus Tavernier
Top Scorer: Dominic Solanke (10)
Best Signing: Milos Kerkez
Breakout Player: Antoine Semenyo
Worst Signing: Hamed Junior Traore
Biggest Disappointment: Marcos Senesi
The unfortunate recipient of the 2023/24 Wooden Spoon will be Bournemouth. Despite finishing last, it won’t necessarily be an abysmal campaign. They’ll only be 4 points from safety, and players like Milos Kerkez, Dominic Solanke, Marcus Tavernier, Antoine Semenyo, and Dango Ouattara will attract suitors willing to pay big.
20th is 20th, however. Hamed Junior Traore will have a series of nagging injuries and will fail to distinguish himself when he is playing, Marcos Senesi will find himself in too many awkward situations and won’t do well, and Bournemouth will kick off a long spell in the Championship because of this season.”
Well. Not a great start. 8 points to kick it off, with me putting Bournemouth bottom of the league for the second year in a row. I honestly didn’t think I ever saw Bournemouth’s squad as that bad, but it looks like I did. In reality, they had a great season, with Dominic Solanke having a much better season than I thought he’d have, scoring 19 league goals rather than the measly ten I predicted he’d have.
19th: Everton (15th, +4)
“Points: 36
Best Player: Jordan Pickford
Top Scorer: Dominic Calvert-Lewin (12)
Best Signing: Arnaut Danjuma
Breakout Player: Thomas Cannon
Worst Signing: Ashley Young
Biggest Disappointment: Vitaliy Mykolenko
Nope. Not again. Everton won’t escape again this season. After finishing 16th and 17th in consecutive seasons, Everton surely won’t survive again. At this point, perhaps relegation is the best thing for Everton, as they’re running on fumes at this point. Despite making 36 million in sales, they’ve only been able to make a free transfer and a loan.
I also don’t know why people are fooled by Arnaut Danjuma after his underwhelming spell with Spurs last season. Their other signing, Ashley Young, is 38, has been playing top level football for the last 20 years and surely must be feeling the strain now. While I have put Danjuma as Everton’s best signing, I think both will disappoint.”
Honestly, I didn’t have too bad of a prediction here, either, despite having Everton 4 places below where they actually were. While they didn’t escape this season, they really didn’t have to, having a comparatively safe year under Sean Dyche. Jordan Pickford had a good year, Everton got only 4 points more than my prediction as well, but still more points than I’d really like.
18th: Sheffield United (20th, +2)
“Points: 36
Best Player: Anel Ahmedhodzic
Top Scorer: Daniel Jebbison (9)
Best Signing: Yasser Larouci
Breakout Player: Daniel Jebbison
Worst Signing: Anton Trusty
Biggest Disappointment: Rhian Brewster
With BOTH Iliman Ndiaye and Sander Berge gone, Sheffield United pretty much only has Anel Ahmedhodzic from the Championship at this point. With Enda Stevens and Billy Sharp also gone, they don’t even have many leaders in the dressing room.
Rhian Brewster will also look even worse than he did last time he was in the Premier League, and Daniel Jebbison will have to pick up the slack in attack. Anton Trusty will prove to be a misnomer, and will show why Arsenal never used him. Yasser Larouci will show to be a promising full back, but as he’s only there on loan and Sheffield will get relegated, the news will only be good for the team that signs him next summer.”
Yeah, these guys never really took off this season at all. They took absolutely ages to even get on the board with a couple of wins, and made terrible history, conceding the most goals of any team since the Premier League’s inception in the early 1990s, with 104 in 38 games, an average of nearly 3 per match. They lost both games vs Newcastle at an aggregate score of 13-1, let Brighton score 5 in their own backyard twice in the span of a month, let Arsenal get 5 in the first half, Aston Villa get 5, Burnley get 5, and equalled Swindon’s previous record of 100 conceded with 2 matches still to spare. An absolutely horrid season.
17th: Luton Town (18th, +1)
“Points: 37
Best Player: Pelly-Ruddock Mpanzu
Top Scorer: Tahith Chong (8)
Best Signing: Tahith Chong
Breakout Player: Pelly-Ruddock Mpanzu
Worst Signing: Marvelous Nakamba
Biggest Disappointment: Carlton Morris
Luton will survive this season, and it will look like a movie’s unfolded before our very eyes. They’ll be in the relegation spots starting on matchday 4, while being bottom of the league for at least 20 weeks, but toward the end of the season they’ll string together a few results to close the gap on safety before getting a last gasp draw on the final day to survive. It will be one of the greatest stories in Premier League, and I will look like a genius.
Behind this miracle will be Tahith Chong, punching in with 8, Pelly-Ruddock Mpanzu will look like the English Rodri, Thomas Kaminski will singlehandedly win at least 10 points from his goalkeeping performances, and this team will just look like a brilliant mass that make each other better.”
I actually said that Pelly-Ruddock Mpanzu would be the English Rodri. Jeez. While a Luton miracle would be great for the Premier League, they just couldn’t stay in the top flight this year and have now gone back down. While Tahith Chong had his moments, I’d say their best signing was Ross Barkley, but there were few players who actually stood out. Still a decent prediction though, even if I did not end up looking like a genius.
16th: Nottingham Forest (17th, +1)
“Points: 38
Best Player: Danilo
Top Scorer: Taiwo Awoniyi (13)
Best Signing: Matt Turner
Breakout Player: Anthony Elanga
Worst Signing: Ola Aina
Biggest Disappointment: Neco Williams
This transfer window has looked so terrible random for Nottingham Forest, but it’ll somehow work enough to see them survive. Forest got their new #1 just in time, and Matt Turner will impress. While I’d never bank on an American outfield player, they seem to do puzzlingly well when it comes to Premier League Goalkeepers.
Danilo will finally show why he was such a stalwart in Palmeiras’ midfield for so long, running the Forest midfield and attracting interest from the Big 6 clubs. Anthony Elanga will recapture is 21/22 United form for Forest, now that he has more space for creativity. It won’t be a smooth ride, but Forest will be okay.”
Another decent prediction, but make no mistake, Forest should by no means have stayed up. With only 32 points, they would have been relegated every year since 2010, but due to the sheer incompetence of the promoted teams this year, they stayed up. Unless they have a big summer window, I will be having Forest in my bottom 3 next year.
15th: Wolves (14th, +1)
Points: 39
Best Player: Matheus Cunha
Top Scorer: Matheus Cunha (12)
Best Signing: Boubacar Traore
Breakout Player: Hugo Bueno
Worst Signing: Matt Doherty
Biggest Disappointment: Matheus Nunes
Wolves SHOULD be relegated. My brain and my heart tell me they should be relegated this season. They are in financial ruin, Lopetegui has left just days before their first game, and nothing is certain for the club. However, the rest of the league is just at too low of a standard to see them go down, in my opinion.
I don’t know how it’ll happen, especially as Matheus Nunes will disappoint, but it just will. A string of results late on will get them out of the relegation spots, and they’ll just make it. Matheus Cunha and Boubacar Traore will do well, Hugo Bueno will also be very impressive and turn heads this season, and Gary O’Neil will do just enough.”
Sacking Julen Lopetegui days before the start of the season should be a death sentence, but Wolves actually had a decent season this year, with Mateus Cunha and Hee-chan Hwang both scoring 12 times, the exact number of my prediction, Gary O’Neil did his job well this year. Credit to the side.
14th: Fulham (13th, +1)
“Points: 41
Best Player: Bernd Leno
Top Scorer: Harry Wilson (9)
Best Signing: Calvin Bassey
Breakout Player: Luke Harris
Worst Signing: Raul Jimenez
Biggest Disappointment: Issa Diop
TECHNICALLY, Fulham will suffer second season syndrome. They’ll only be clear of relegation by 5 points, will suffer dearly from the sale of Aleksandar Mitrovic, and they’ll look a shadow of their 22/23 selves.
However, they’ll still finish 14th. They’ll still be in the 6-team relegation battle, but will be the best of the 6. However, this season will still be worrying for Fulham, and after Raul Jimenez flops, they’ll have to find a bona fide #9.”
Wasn’t expecting the incredible rise of Rodrigo Muniz this year, and he was pretty good. No relegation fight for Fulham this year, but they were still only 1 position away from where I had them, for the fourth team in a row, so we’re doing quite well so far. Another decent but unremarkable mid-table season from Fulham, not bad.
13th: Crystal Palace (10th, +3)
“Points: 50
Best Player: Eberechi Eze
Top Scorer: Michael Olise (10)
Best Signing: Matheus Franca
Breakout Player: Matheus Franca
Worst Signing: Jefferson Lerma (will still do well)
Biggest Disappointment: Odsonne Edouard
If you couldn’t tell, I like Matheus Franca. As a player of course. While some think that Crystal Palace may struggle without Zaha, I think Eze, Olise, and Franca have been signed for just this occasion. Combine this with Palace’s consistent finishes near the top of the bottom half, and they’ll be fine. They won’t even be seriously in the relegation battle.
Perhaps Eze, Olise, and Franca could attract serious interest by the likes of Chelsea, Liverpool, and Man United at the end of the season, in which case Palace would have a hard time keeping them. However, they should be fine for this season.”
With Crystal Palace known around the league as 13th place FC, I thought this prediction was spot on, but to my surprise, they’ve actually finished in the top 10 for the first time in 9 years. With Michael Olise and Eberechi Eze stealing the headlines with Oliver Glasner’s new and exciting squad, I hope Palace fans have enjoyed it because they have to be getting raided this summer, and it will be interesting to see where Olise goes, because I think he’ll be a very good player, in the right system.
12th: West Ham (9th, +3)
“Points: 52
Best Player: Jarrod Bowen
Top Scorer: Jarrod Bowen (15)
Best Signing: Edson Alvarez
Breakout Player: Conor Coventry
Worst Signing: Only made 1 signing
Biggest Disappointment: Tomas Soucek
Many people have West Ham in the relegation battle, and I can see it after losing Declan Rice and the disillusionment of David Moyes, after finishing 15th, but I think they’ll do better than everyone expects.
Being in Europe, it requires a very high level of professionalism that West Ham will have to conform to. I can’t really explain it, but West Ham will just put everything together and have a good season, for their expectations.”
Well, well well. Look who predicted a Jarrod Bowen recovery season. If only he had one less goal this season, I’d have got it spot-on. West Ham had a good season this year, with a lot of good points for the club to take away from it. As they always do, they had their moments, the London Stadium is always tough for any big team to go to, with it nearly being the place where Leverkusen’s unbeaten run ended. West Ham had a good Europa League run, Mohamed Kudus had an excellent first season with the club, and they were the best placed team outside the independent top 8 shelf.
11th: Aston Villa (4th, +7)
“Points: 52
Best Player: Ollie Watkins
Top Scorer: Ollie Watkins (16)
Best Signing: Moussa Diaby
Breakout Player: Jhon Duran
Worst Signing: Youri Tielemans
Biggest Disappointment: Douglas Luiz
Aston Villa will have a disappointing season this season, and they won’t finish above Spurs and Chelsea again. I think Pau Torres and Moussa Diaby are good and will eventually come good for Villa, but they will have to settle to life in Birmingham.
Ollie Watkins will have another great season, and could attract interest from a team like Tottenham next summer if Harry Kane leaves then, and he’ll be the best player in this team by a margin. However, they’ll do well in the Conference League.”
Worst Prediction so far? Probably. Disappointing season? Won’t finish above Spurs and Chelsea? Not only did they finish above those two, but also add on Manchester United and Newcastle. Unai Emery’s men had a fantastic year, Ollie Watkins had an even better year than I predicted, and this team is now the new hottest thing on the scene, an exciting project that you can’t help but root for. Congratulations to this Villa team, for making the Champions League. You deserve it.
10th: Brentford (16th, +6)
“Points: 54
Best Player: Nathan Collins
Top Scorer: Ivan Toney (10)
Best Signing: Nathan Collins
Breakout Player: Kevin Schade
Worst Signing: Mark Flekken
Biggest Disappointment: Aaron Hickey
Another good season by Brentford, who’ve cemented their status as a Premier League regular. Yes, I know that Ivan Toney won’t be back until 2024, I still think he’ll be Brentford’s top scorer.
They won’t be a fun team to watch this year, with most of their wins being 1-0 or 2-1, and they’ll rarely play games in which 3 goals are scored between both teams. While I have put Flekken as their “worst signing”, he’ll still do quite well, and Nathan Collins will just be more important.”
I just got it all wrong, didn’t I? Not a good season for the Bees this year, down in 16th and in other years, probably would have been relegated with the performance they had. Contrary to my prediction, Yoane Wissa was the team’s top scorer with 12 goals this season, and Ivan Toney had an abysmal 4 goals in his return this season, squashing the 9-figure transfer rumours. I didn’t even really get the prediction of boring football correct, as Brentford scored more goals than anyone else in the bottom half, with 56, including a 5-1 away win vs Luton, 4-2 loss vs Newcastle, 4-2 loss vs West Ham, and a 3-3 draw vs Aston Villa. Surely it can’t get worse?
9th: Burnley (19th, +10)
“Points: 55
Best Player: Benson Manuel
Top Scorer: Zeki Amdouni (11)
Best Signing: James Trafford
Breakout Player: Ameen Al-Dakhil
Worst Signing: Lawrence Vigouroux
Biggest Disappointment: Josh Brownhill
Huh?? I know, but Burnley will surprise many this season. Vincent Kompany will prove himself as one of the premier young managers in the world, and this revolutionized Burnley team will produce some great young talents, such as Benson Manuel, Zeki Amdouni, James Trafford, and Ameen Al-Dakhil. This isn’t your dad’s Burnley, and the future is bright at Turf Moor.”
It got worse. First, Jacob Bruun Larsen was the top scorer for Burnley this season, only scoring 6 times. This team surprised a few this season, but only by how absolutely horrid they were. Neither James Trafford or Arijanet Muric stood out as anything but a scapegoat this season, and this team just look broken. We add TEN POINTS to my tally.
8th: Spurs (5th, +3)
“Points: 62
Best Player: Heung-Min Son
Top Scorer: Harry Kane (24)
Best Signing: Micky van de Ven
Breakout Player: Alejo Veliz
Worst Signing: Guglielmo Vicario
Biggest Disappointment: Richarlison
My opinion? Harry Kane stays at Spurs, after all this. He scores 24, the second most in the Premier League, but Heung-Min Son will after getting at least 15 goals and 10 assists. With 2 great players, how do Spurs finish 8th? In the Premier League, a 2-man team wins nothing. I don’t think the players around Son and Kane will be good enough to get them back in Europe.
Guglielmo Vicario won’t have a good season this year, as I’ve explained in a previous post, Richarlison will have an even worse year this year, and the whole team will suffer.”
Well. At least only 3 points are added to my tally for Spurs, but once again, a really bad prediction. Contrary to what I said, Guglielmo Vicario had quite a good year, Richarlison had a good bounce back from last season, Alejo Veliz did NOT break out, and my “best signing” van de Ven’s most memorable moment from this season was slipping twice in the span of 20 minutes at the hands of Alexander Isak, and I still have Harry Kane in these predictions. Truly an awful prediction once again.
7th: Chelsea (6th, +1)
“Points: 64
Best Player: Enzo Fernandez
Top Scorer: Raheem Sterling (10)
Best Signing: Axel Disasi
Breakout Player: Lesley Ugochukwu
Worst Signing: Nicolas Jackson
Biggest Disappointment: Thiago Silva
While it’s another mediocre season for Chelsea, it’s one of improvement. Enzo Fernandez starts to realize his price tag, Axel Disasi becomes a staple in Chelsea’s back line, and Lesley Ugochukwu will become what Carney Chukwuemeka was promised to be.
After finishing 7th, Chelsea will finally get European football, maybe not the competition they wanted, but they’ll improve massively from their disaster last season.”
It would’ve been actually interesting to see my predictions if I knew that Chelsea would sign Cole Palmer, but I think I would’ve just dismissed the signing as a panic buy and nothing all that special. For a while, this prediction didn’t look great, at all, but turns out it wasn’t optimistic enough after a good bounce back.
6th: Brighton (11th, +5)
“Points: 65
Best Player: Kaoru Mitoma
Top Scorer: Evan Ferguson (14)
Best Signing: Bart Verbruggen
Breakout Player: Facundo Buonanotte
Worst Signing: Joao Pedro
Biggest Disappointment: Pervis Estupinan
It may seem confusing how I’ve got Brighton 6th after losing Moises Caicedo, Alexis Mac Allister, and Robert Sanchez. I think they’ve got ready-made replacements. Also, the Europa League requires a higher level of professionalism than simply league games, and Brighton will have to adopt that level, which I believe they will. As a side effect, they’ll also do quite well in the league.
Evan Ferguson, Bart Verbruggen, and Facundo Buonanotte will also prove to be perfect replacements to all the departed stars. Ferguson especially will break out and prove himself as one of the best strikers in the league. Mitoma will also have the season of his life and prove that he deserves to be on a big 6 team.”
Nooooooo. Well, let’s be honest for a second, we all had Brighton up here, for no real reason even after losing Sanchez, Caicedo, and Mac Allister. I don’t know why I had them here, because there weren’t really many standouts this season from the Seagulls, not even from previously established stars like Mitoma or Evan Ferguson. Just a really meh year.
5th: Man Utd (8th, +3)
“Points: 71
Best Player: Bruno Fernandes
Top Scorer: Antony (13)
Best Signing: Andre Onana
Breakout Player: Shola Shoretire
Worst Signing: Mason Mount
Biggest Disappointment: Marcus Rashford
Relax United fans, after this “amazing” transfer window, how do you possibly finish lower than last year? Well, let me tell you. After impressing last season, Marcus Rashford and Luke Shaw will have disappointing seasons, because that’s just their pattern.
While Onana will be United’s best signing, by no means will he be 2017 David de Gea, he’ll barely be 2020 de Gea. That just goes to show my opinion of their transfer window. Also, even if Mason Greenwood makes his contreversial return, after nearly 2 years away from the sport, he’ll be a skeleton of his former self.
Also, don’t worry. With new Champions League format rules allowing 1 more UCL qualification spot to the 2 nations who’s teams do the best in Europe starting this season, United will still likely qualify for the UCL.”
Turns out, do, in fact, worry. Manchester United, unless they can win the FA Cup final on Saturday, will not get any European football at all after England failed to win the extra qualifying spots. This was so close to being the perfect prediction, as I got Onana, Rashford, Shaw, and Mount all having bad seasons, Rashford’s prediction especially being good, but then I had to say that Antony would get 13 league goals. He did, in fact, get one solitary league goal and is looking like one of Manchester United’s worst ever signings.
4th: Liverpool (3rd, +1)
“Points: 74
Best Player: Darwin Nunez
Top Scorer: Darwin Nunez (20)
Best Signing: Dominik Szoboszlai
Breakout Player: Ben Doak
Worst Signing: Alexis Mac Allister
Biggest Disappointment: Virgil van Dijk
While they won’t be back to prime Liverpool, Klopp’s men will look like a much better team this season, and their signings will prove a great fit for the team. Also, Liverpool will have their annual humiliation of Man Utd, beating them 5-0 at Anfield and 4-1 at Old Trafford.
This will be the season where it’s confirmed that Virgil van Dijk’s prime is over. He was never really the same after the Jordan Pickford tackle. It will become painfully obvious this season.”
Another mixed bag in terms of prediction quality. I only got the position one wrong, but how we got there is a little shaky. Darwin Nunez got just half of the 20 league goals predicted with Mo Salah running the show, Virgil van Dijk still looked like a good defender this year, although still nothing like his prime self. It’s a disappointing season ending Jurgen Klopp’s era in charge of the Reds, but it’s been special.
3rd: Newcastle (7th, +4)
“Points: 78
Best Player: Bruno Guimaraes
Top Scorer: Alex Isak (15)
Best Signing: Sandro Tonali
Breakout Player: Lewis Miley
Worst Signing: Tino Livramento
Biggest Disappointment: Harvey Barnes
They’re doing it again. People are saying that Newcastle will fall this season because they’ll be distracted with UCL football, but they’ve improved a lot this season. One game with Bruno Guimaraes and Sandro Tonali’s Newcastle reservations will be gone. This team looks dangerous.
Alex Isak will be better than ever this season, Bruno Guimaraes will prove himself as a 100m talent, and Lewis Miley will impress in his short spells with the first team too.”
Ouch. First, I have no clue why I had Newcastle this high. Second, SANDRO TONALI BEST SIGNING? My worst prediction yet. However, Isak did have a very good year as I predicted, with a massive 21 goals. Newcastle are still a very exciting team, and with Tonali back from suspension next year as well as another year of signings, this team should be very exciting and a favourite for the Conference League.
2nd: Arsenal (2nd, +0)
“Points: 81
Best Player: Bukayo Saka
Top Scorer: Bukayo Saka (22)
Best Signing: Declan Rice
Breakout Player: Brooke Norton-Cuffy
Worst Signing: Kai Havertz
Biggest Disappointment: Gabriel Jesus
Arsenal will finish 2nd again, but fortunately, they won’t get their hopes up for the majority of the season again. They’ll do well in their first season back in the Champions League, they’ll win either the League Cup or FA Cup, but the Premier League will be far out of their reach.
Bukayo Saka will score the 3rd-most goals in the league this season, cementing his place among the world’s best, and he’s still only 21. Declan Rice will also impress and become an undroppable of this squad. Arsenal will have nothing to be ashamed of this season.”
We finally have our first 100% correct position, and it wasn’t too hard to predict. While I had Kai Havertz as Arsenal’s worst signing, you couldn’t really have a “worst signing” award for the Gunners this year. Rice, Havertz, and Raya all impressed a good amount this year, and Jurrien Timber only played 2 league matches this year due to an ACL injury, so it’s unfair to criticize him, at least on his performances. Arsenal kept it going to the end of the season, better than they could do last year, so it was a good step up, and hopefully they can finally win it next season.
1st: Man City (1st, +0)
“Points: 92
Best Player: Erling Haaland
Top Scorer: Erling Haaland (34)
Best Signing: Josko Gvardiol
Breakout Player: Dario Sarmiento
Worst Signing: Mateo Kovacic
Biggest Disappointment: John Stones
So you’re telling me that the treble winners just signed a 90m-valued young defender and has the same basic core as last year? They can only finish in one position, and it won’t even be close.
They’ll also be the only team ever to be in 1st position the entirety of the season after beating Burnley by 5 or 6 today. At points they’ll be 20-25 points ahead of the competition before cooling the jets to focus on other competitions late into the season. It’s crazy how a team can lose Ilkay Gundogan and Riyad Mahrez and still be a-ok. No, they’re even better, in fact.”
Booooring. Man City weren’t at their best this year, for sure, and were nowhere close to my prediction of being top of the league for the whole season, but I kept faith in Josko Gvardiol, which has eventually started to pay off, and while Haaland didn’t get the 34 goals I predicted, he still netted 27 and the golden boot, 2 in 2 seasons now. Don’t worry, Premier League fans, eras come to an end, and enjoy the next and final season of prime Man City while you can, as in 2025, they’ll end up relegated after all the charges catch up to them, and they’ll be raided by everyone else; Haaland will join Barca, de Bruyne Liverpool, Ruben Dias Madrid, Bernardo Silva Barcelona, but for now, they’ve completed the first four-peat in Premier League history.
Well, that’s it for my Premier League predictions. Did I do better than last year’s tally of 64 points? Reminder that because I get a point for every position wrong I got, the aim is to get fewer points than last year.
Well, I didn’t exactly do better. But I also didn’t exactly do worse. ONCE AGAIN, I got 64 points. Just as bad as last year. Once again, we shall see you once again in August, and the reactions next May, the third annual. I’m Jim James, until next time.